Coaching Through Narcissism: Reclaiming Your Voice and Raising a Future Free from Abuse

For years, I didn’t realise how much I was tolerating. Narcissistic abuse can be insidious—eroding your self-worth, isolating you from your intuition and convincing you that love must be earned through suffering. What ultimately woke me up wasn’t therapy alone, but a single, jarring thought: Would I want this for my daughter?

The Aha Moment

Counselling gave my daughter and I a safe space to process our experiences, but the biggest shift happened when I imagined my daughter in my position—would I want her to be spoken to like that, treated like that, diminished like that? Absolutely not. So why was I accepting it for myself?

My sister once asked me, “Is this really what you want your child to learn about love?” It hit hard—but it was the question I needed.

The Strength to Walk Away

Even with support, leaving a toxic relationship is terrifying. Despite therapy, encouragement from family and knowing it was the right thing, I made difficult, often painful decisions—including cutting some people from my life. In hindsight, I may have acted too hastily in a few cases, but I needed boundaries like oxygen. I was rebuilding from the ground up and when you finally understand the depth of manipulation and emotional abuse you’ve experienced, you can’t unsee it. Once my daughter and I were safe in the UK, I made a vow: no one would ever be allowed to hurt us again.

Letting Love Back In—Cautiously

When I met Jean-Paul, I was guarded. I had erected emotional walls out of fear of repeating the past. I was no longer willing to let anyone close unless I was absolutely sure we were safe. It took my mother’s gentle reminder—not to let trauma prevent love from entering our lives—for me to soften. I’m so grateful I did. I had told myself it would always just be my daughter and I. Her therapist once said, “One day you might meet someone new.” At the time, it felt laughable. Not just unlikely—impossible, but healing has a funny way of opening up possibilities you didn’t dare dream of.

Why Coaching Matters

Talking helped. Being surrounded by family and friends who told me, “You’re not going mad” was life-changing. They gave me strength and tools, but it was the professional support that truly propelled my healing. It was a turning point and helped me rebuild my sense of self, reclaim my voice, and shape a new vision—not just for my life, but for my daughter's future too. This is why I believe so strongly in the value of coaching as a next step for many.

We have now partnered with Transformational Coach Sara Giovanna, whose approach profoundly aligns with the kind of inner work that supported my own healing.

Sara is a Transformational and Leadership Coach who empowers individuals to lead from within. She has completed the NATC training as a Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician and, in addition to her professional qualifications, brings invaluable personal insight through her own lived experience of this journey.

She champions empathy, emotional intelligence and self-awareness as the foundation for meaningful personal growth and authentic leadership. Sara’s philosophy isn’t about “fixing” anyone—it’s about guiding people to reconnect with their inner strength and rediscover the power they’ve always carried within.

Coaching can become your superpower—the catalyst that helps you move from surviving to thriving. Her work reflects something I’ve come to understand deeply: healing isn’t just about what you leave behind—it’s about what you step into.

The Judgement—and Why It Must Stop

It wasn’t all support. I faced judgment—from a mother at Anja’s school in South Africa, openly appalled that I’d leave my husband, to a family member who still insists that a child needs her father, regardless of the circumstances. What these people fail to see is that staying would have meant normalising abuse. What kind of future does that create? We must stop blaming women for leaving. Leaving is not weakness—it’s the hardest, most resolute choice we can make.

A Future Worth Creating

Today, my daughter sees me loved. She sees kindness, care and mutual respect. She sees that I matter—and by extension, that she matters. She’s learning what it means to be treated with dignity. That’s the legacy I want to leave her.

Final Thoughts

Coaching for narcissistic abuse isn't about fixing what's broken. It's about rediscovering what was always whole but hidden beneath fear and manipulation. It's about choosing better—not just for ourselves, but for our children too.

If you're in a similar situation, know this: talking helps. Coaching transforms. And you can rebuild. You deserve to be safe, heard, respected—and loved. If you’d like to learn more about Sara Giovanna and how coaching can support your own journey, please visit: https://www.noemilife.co.uk/sara-giovanna